Sunday 27 January 2013

Kevin O'Leary - Portrait of a Blowhard

John Maynard Keynes once said that "Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men for the nastiest of motives will somehow work for the benefit of all." Well, I think "nastiest of men" is the most apt description for Canada's greatest windbag (closely edging out Don Cherry), Kevin O'Leary. That's right, this nasally-voiced asshole:


If you're not familiar with him, he's one of the so-called "dragons" on CBC's Dragons Den. The basic premise of the show is that would-be entrepreneurs make their business pitch to a panel of wealthy businessmen, who can decide whether or not the pitch is worth investing in. Consider it the business version of American Idol, and in that sense, Kevin O'Leary plays the role of Simon Cowell. That is, his job is to be as nasty and condescending to entrepreneurs he finds unworthy, and there's always a steady supply since, like American Idol, Dragons Den makes sure that there's always a few utterly hopeless pitches in the lineup for people to laugh at.

All this, of course, went straight to O'Leary's head, and he's now offering his brilliant opinions on the execrable The Lang and O’Leary Exchange, such as this:

"Unions are sheer evil." … "Unions themselves are born out of evil. They must be destroyed with evil." … "Look, no one could contain unions in hell. They were so evil they came out of hell and they came upon earth."

Well, damn, Mr. O'Leary, your Gilded Age Robber Baron mentality has made me see the error of my ways, and I now recognise unions as being the SPAWNS OF BEELZEBUB that they are! I wonder, Mr. O'Leary if you've ever considered that the fact that you despise unions so much only proves that we need them. Lord knows how much workers would suffer under the boot of a corporate thug like you. But like most right-wing blowhards, he's all bark and no bite. Just read this Time article that points out that, behind his blustering arrogance, he's no great businessman. He's just another hustler in a fancy suit.

But if you really want to see how utterly vacuous Kevin O'Leary truly is, just watch this "debate" regarding Occupy Wall Street with Chris Hedges:


Now ignore for a moment whether or not you agree with Hedges, that's not what I want to discuss. Instead, I want to discuss O'Leary's debating "tactics" because it serves as a prime example of how right-wing blowhards like to argue (especially on their home turf of talk radio).

Hedges begins by making his argument. Now, if this were a "true" debate, O'Leary would respond with a counter-argument. Instead, he immediately opens up with an ad hominem attack: "You sound like a left-wing nutbar!" He wants to drag the "debate" down to the lowest level, that of a shouting match, but Hedges doesn't take the bait. Instead, he points out that this sort of "character assassination" is the sort of thing reserved for drivel that one would see on Fox News and, as he points out, he doesn't go on Fox News.

Confronted with this, O'Leary offers one of the most feeble defences I've ever seen in a verbal debate: "I didn't call you a nutcase, I called you a nutbar." When Hedges actually gets to his argument about the banking system and the 2008 financial crisis, all O'Leary can do is just stare blankly with a look of utter stupefaction on his face. I hate to break it to you, mate, but Chris Hedges just handed you your sorry arse on a platter!

Behold, Kevin O'Leary. He's the sort of person our capitalist society considers "successful." Observe his casual immorality, his ignorance masked in arrogance and swagger. He knows nothing and never will. He offers no wisdom beyond self-serving platitudes. Truly the "nastiest of men."


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